Feeling depleted and drained?
Being kinder to yourself is a way of resourcing yourself. It's a way of being better prepared for the uncertainties of life. It helps you recover your balance after shocks and knocks.
Being kind to yourself will restore you. You don't need to rely on anyone else for it. It’s available without strings or conditions.
1 Write here, right now
On a small note-pad or sticky note write two words. One that describes how you feel physically, the other how you feel emotionally.
What’s your reaction to the words you chose?
Can you pinpoint what led to you choosing them?
If you like your words - great! How can you repeat this recipe again to the get the same results in the future?
If you don’t like what you came up with add to your note. Below each word pick a new, better state that is a slight improvement on the one you identified. So if my two words were “stressed” and “hungry” I could pick slightly improved words such as “focussed” and “peckish”.
Now explore what you can do to switch to these modestly better states. For example I’ve just picked up my work and moved somewhere quiet, away from distractions, with a fresh cup of tea.
Grab one (only one) thing from your to-do list and put it on a a sticky note.
This is now your to-do list with only one thing on it. Put your lists away / off-screen. Clear your work area and just focus on one task.
If you feel that’s too risky then set a timer so you don’t spend too much time on one thing.
3 Give yourself a pat on the back
Don’t wait for anyone else to do it. Actually put one hand on your opposite shoulder and say something encouraging to yourself. Ideally say it aloud. Something you’d say to a good friend who needs to hear a positive message. How about “This is difficult and you can do it” or “I’m proud of you right now”.
Your brain knows it’s you yet still delivers the benefits of human contact and encouragement. It just works.
Experiment to see what works for you. You could try resting one hand in the other. Or how about grasping your upper arm or elbow when you give your encouragement?
All of these ideas cost nothing and you can do them for yourself right now.
If you try any of them let me know how it works out for you.